Monday, July 18, 2011

Historical Narrative

Title: So Close Yet So Far


Episode in History: Sichuan Earthquake


Night time is falling; he could feel the cold gust of evening breeze seeping through the cracks of the walls and windows. The activities in the day had eventually died down. The last attempt to signal any survivors had taken lot energy from him. He lay on the ground; his left leg had been dislocated and his left arm was broken due to the fallen debris during the earthquake. He began to think about his families, friends, and the most important person in his life, Xiao Hong.


The day before yesterday was his anniversary with Xiao Hong. He was planning to have a whole day outing with his girlfriend. In the morning, they were going to walk around the park. In the afternoon, they had gone to the beach and finally at night, a movie with her to end the day.


He was at a restaurant waiting for Xiao Hong for their dinner when the lights began shake violently and drops down. He knew that this was definitely not a tremor but an earthquake and he dashes under a firm table to hide.


His knees were draw towards his chest, with his hand on his head as he hid under a firm table. After a few minutes, he came out from the table and check if anyone around him was alive. He used his phone as torchlight to enable him to see in the dark room. When he was checking for survivors, he was almost hit by a fallen roof that missed him by an inch, he decided to call it a day as the place were too dark and there were tremors which could cause injuries.


The first day had passed, and there were no sign of survival around him.


As he crawled out of the table, he began to check the rooms in the restaurant. He tried to open any doors that were near him, trying to find anyone that survived the earthquake. As the first day coming to an end, Cheng Jing backtracked his way to the firm table which had saved his life.


On the second day, he was looking at the first floor through a broken window, with a worried look on his face for his girlfriend if she had survived the earthquake. He saw a lot of people, wearing army uniforms, gathering at the first floor.


“Alright, you guys know what to do now? If you all get it go and rescue the trapped survivors in that building.” Shouted from a guy at a temporary podium.


As he heard the message that the guy shouted, he did not notice there was another tremor and was injured by the falling roof.


“Sergeant, all the survivors in the building from the second floor to the fourth floor had been rescued.” A private shouted.


“Is there any survivors in the fifth floor?” asked the Sergeant.


“Erm… the fifth floor was the highest floor in the building and since the damages by the earthquake from the second floor to the fourth floor is increasing and the survivor is decreasing, I suppose the fifth floor will not have anyone that survived the earthquake?” answered the private.


“I suppose you are right. Gather the casualties, send them a ride to the hospital and get back to the camp, understood?” shouted the Sergeant.


“Yes Sir.” Shouted from the army troops.


As the last truck bid farewell to the building, Cheng Jing was lying on the ground, hoping that anyone will come and rescue him again. He closed his eyes and waited.


(590 words)

8 comments:

  1. Lots of grammatical errors, and check your sentence structure. Overall, the story was messy and I could not understand the order the events occured in.

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  2. thx btw :D . ur story was overally well done , quite interesting in the order of the events :D

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  3. Nice story but there are quite a few grammar mistakes and I have a feeling you copied it somewhere :P

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  4. @jacob: yea the dialogue part was 90% same as waiting

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